an educators pursuit of wellness
my journey thus far.
week 1.
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This week marked the beginning of this journey towards wellness. I was filled with optimism and enthusiasm about the changes I would see in my life and my skills in balancing life's demands, schooling needs and summer work which started the following week.
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Healthy eating - Relatively successful! Most of my meals were home cooked and full of fresh produce. I ate at designated times and sat to down to appreciate the food I was consuming.
Exercise - I started off very strong in continuing to run 5km/day this week. I started this habit in second semester of this year and while it means that I wake up significantly earlier (4:45am), it feels essential to my day. I also practiced yoga 3 times this week which is one of my favourite physical exercises/awakenings.
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Sleep - Consistent! I slept at least 7 hours each night this week and tried to be in bed by 10pm. My wind down process at night still requires much improvement as I am easily distracted on my phone and then find it hard to sleep afterwards.
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Mindfulness - I am trying to learn meditation alongside a recommended Spotify playlist "Musical therapy" each morning to set my intentions for the day. I would say that this is more difficult than I imagined, it is hard to focus as my mind continues to wander to... "The bathroom needs to be cleaned today, what to meal pre
week 2.
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The second week of this journey took a turn for the worst in terms of wellness maintenance. It was the first session of the summer camp that I was running and I wanted everything to be perfect. I was so fixated on ensuring that my staff, campers and their parents had everything they needed (ingredients for their Jr. chef recipe labs each day, art & crafts supplies, administrative necessities such as parental contact and allergy adherence, arranging guest speakers etc.) Again, I noticed this same consummative attitude I take towards my teaching where I want everything to be perfect. I was arriving between 7am and 7:30am each morning and not leaving until 6pm. Furthermore, my Oma that had been in relatively good health for the last number of years suffered two strokes in the same week. As she lives in London, I visited her almost each night after camp finished. I digested feelings of sadness as the doctors seemed to become less hopeful of her state and guilt as prior to these strokes I had not visited her for two weeks. My heart was hurting and I was exhausted already from camp. Who knew 50 4-12 year olds took so much energy! Okay, so this wasn't a surprise but still very much physically and emotionally exhausting!
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This week I barely ate, slept irregularly and didn't exercise. Even worse, my MEd course that rightly deserved a lot of attention was given less attention. It seemed like old habits were beginning to repeat themselves again. As I knew that I was failing in this wellness journey, my feelings that I was out of control just continued to spiral and grow. Why was I not able to balance all of these life demands?
week 3.
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This week started out in much the same way as the last. It felt as though I was continuing the motions of the week prior. Wakeup, run the camp, drive to London to be with my Oma, drive home exhausted and try and work for a while on household obligations and my MEd course then eventually dozing off. Realizing that I had gone way off course of my initial wellness and work-life balance plans, I tried to brainstorm ways to regain some sort of control. I thought if I called my Oma some nights instead of physically driving there, I could still spend time with her long distance. However, upon being in the hospital, she no longer had a phone with her.
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I talked with my staff at work and explained what was going on with my family and if it was possible that they help more with cleaning the facility at the end of the day so that we could leave sooner. It felt like a relief when my staff said, "Alex, you are already here way longer than any of us. If you need to leave earlier, we will make sure the rest of the cleaning and preparation gets done." So from this conversation, I continued to arrive early in the morning, but worked on my course during breaks times. I started to visit my Oma less also, every other day instead. Even though I wish I could continue the commute it became too much and overwhelming with my other life obligations. On the wellness front, my partner and I began working together near the week to prepare healthy food for our breakfast, lunches and dinners.
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Finally, although my fitness was still sidelined for the time being. I was asked to teach some yoga sessions for hockey workshops on the weekend. Immediately agreeing to do so (as I do love yoga and teaching it too!)I regretted this choice as I just added another commitment to my agenda. In actuality though, running this yoga class even though I was not the participant seemed to recenter me and make me reconsider my intentions of starting and how I could control this balancing act.
week 4.
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Oddly enough, after the yoga workshops I did seem to regain some momentum in realizing the necessity of wellness and balance. I recognized that focusing on the shame and disappointment I felt would not propel me further in this journey. While the journey did not get easier per se, I did become more methodical in planning out each minute of the day to maximize all of the time I had. As I planned each minute of my day I realized that I was much more productive and felt accomplished and empowered at the end of the day.
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I was able to fit in one run and a circuit training this week which is not ideal, but an improvement from before. I worked again on preparing healthy meals and freezing them for days that were busier. I listened to the Minimalist and Happier podcast on my ways to and from work or on the way to London to visit my Oma. These helped to maintain my motivation even when I was still overly fatigued. Sleep was one area in this week that still needed improvement. I was returning home late from London or staying up to complete work and waking up at 5am each day to really make the most of it. Sleep will continue to be a work in progress for me. For now, coffee is proving very helpful!
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Still no progress on the social front. No time to see friends at this point, need to power on through this camp, course and prioritize family. This is not perfect but I recognize it is a progress and I really am trying my best. That is all I can do for now to maintain wellness and ward off burnout. Stay tuned as I continue to document this wellness trajectory!
